As a parent in today’s world, there is so much to focus on. You want to raise a child who is smart and dedicated to their studies. You also want to raise a child who is active, musical, curious, creative, and cooperative—just to name a few adjectives!
We all hope our children will have well-rounded identities. But, arguably, the most important thing to teach our children is how to be kind to others.
Kind people are often happier and healthier. They enjoy stronger relationships and often feel a deep sense of purpose.
The good news is that teaching compassion happens in small corners of everyday life. Here are four ways to teach compassion and raise kind children.
1) Talk about the "ingredients" for kindness with your kids.
Kindness is an abstract concept. It can be challenging to break down for children. That’s why it helps to teach kids about the “ingredients” that make up kindness.
The “recipe” for kindness includes these key ingredients:
- Empathy: Feeling and understanding another person’s emotions
- Thoughtfulness: Thinking about the impact of your actions on someone else
- Helpfulness: Sharing your time or resources to help someone else
- Acceptance: Accepting and appreciating someone else just as they are
- Care: Showing concern for someone else and how they are doing
- Warmth: Treating someone else in an open and friendly way
Explain to your kids that kind actions and words include at least one or more of these ingredients.
Point out when your kids are kind and what “ingredients” are present. For example: “I noticed you held the door open for the person behind you. That was very helpful and caring of you. Being helpful and caring is kind.”
2) Give your kids a list of kind verbs.
Being kind to others is about taking action. Since kindness can be hard to define, children benefit from having concrete examples to follow.
Start by giving your kids a list of “kind” verbs—and then encourage them to find ways to include these verbs in their daily lives.
- Kind Verb #1: HELP
- Kids can help their parent mow the lawn, rake leaves, or make dinner. Kids can also help classmates figure out a tough homework assignment or learn how to shoot hoops. Kids can help a neighbor take out their trash bins or pick up their mail.
- Kind Verb #2: SHARE
- Kids can share their toys with a sibling, share their snacks with a friend, or share their stories with a grandparent or elderly friend.
- Kind Verb #3: ENCOURAGE
- Kids can encourage a friend to do well on an exam, write an encouraging anonymous message, or encourage someone by saying, “I believe in you” or “You can do it!”
- Kind Verb #4: CARE or COMFORT
- Kids can comfort a friend who is having a tough time, care for their teacher’s plants, or comfort a neighbor by listening deeply to them.
- Kind Verb #5: APPRECIATE
- Kids can appreciate a teacher with a small gratitude gift, give their friend words of appreciation, or write a small note of appreciation to their local librarian.
- Kind Verb #6: GIVE
- Kids can give their time to volunteer at an animal shelter, give their old clothes to a donation center, or give their money to a fundraiser for a cause they care about.
- Kind Verb #7: UPLIFT
- Kids can uplift other people by waving hello to a neighbor, smiling at a cashier, sending a “thank-you” note to a family member, or giving a small gift to someone else.
Encourage your kids to think of how they can use kind verbs in different areas of their life:
- In their classroom
- At home
- On the playground
- In their neighborhood
- At a public place, like the library
3) Teach your kids a "kindness vocabulary."
Kind actions are important. But so are kind words!
Take time to build up your child’s “kindness vocabulary.” Here are some phrases you can share with your child to help them appreciate, care for, encourage, and uplift others:
- Words to APPRECIATE:
- “Thank you for…”
- “I appreciate that you. . .”
- “You mean a lot to me. Here is why.”
- Words to CARE:
- “I hear you’re having a hard time. Do you want to talk about it?”
- “That sounds tough. May I give you a hug?”
- “I’m here for you.”
- Words to ENCOURAGE:
- “I’m rooting for you!”
- “Keep it up, you are doing great!”
- “Good luck today!”
- Words to UPLIFT:
- “I hope you have a great day!”
- “You inspire me every day.”
- “That was so brave of you.”
4) Be a kind role model for your kids.
Your actions are the strongest teacher of kindness for your kids.
If your kids see you being kind—and valuing kindness—they will follow suit.
Some practical ways to be a kind role model:
- Let your kids know that kindness matters to you. For example: “I like to send ‘thank-you’ cards for gifts we receive. It is a kind gesture that lets people know we appreciate their generosity. Kind gestures are important to our family.”
- Show them that all kind actions matter—big or small. You can show them that, even when you are busy. You can do small kind actions, like holding the door open for someone else or waving at a neighbor.
- Do acts of service together with your child. Volunteer with them at a food bank or help out an elderly neighbor together. Invite them to engage in kind acts with you.
Kindness is a muscle! There is innate kindness in every person, including your child. Take time to build that kindness muscle together, and watch your child greet others with care, compassion, and understanding.
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Looking for fun activities to support your kids’ well-being? Evan-Moor’s Heart and Mind Activities for Today’s Kids, ages 4–1, includes 75 fun activities and reflective projects to help them learn how to manage emotions, reduce anxiety, and navigate social situations. |
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Evan-Moor’s Social Skills Activities for Today’s Kids is also available for ages 4–11, and includes meaningful activities to help children have positive interactions and gain confidence in how to handle social situations. |